That's intense
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
