so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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