I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
