my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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