they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he was CRYING into my vagina
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
