Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize