Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize