I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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