I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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