ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Im part way to drunk.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
