It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
