I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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