Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
