Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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