the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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