Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
