Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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