I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
