i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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