mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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