After last night, I could never be a politician.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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