U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
