You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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