chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
