The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
