I'm going to jail i love you
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
