i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
