My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
