What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
