return my video game
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
are you so shy because you have an std?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
