is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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