so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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