Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
