I didn't shave. On purpose
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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