You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
vagina is talking i cant
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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