i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
