There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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