Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
