I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize