you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My feet surprised me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
