went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
