I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
