it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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