i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
