I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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