I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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