you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
