She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
its liver damage thursday
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
