How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Randomize
