we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
