I'm going to jail i love you
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
