batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
