Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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