So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
