Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
