No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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