so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
