oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize