ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
