: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
